The Examined Life

The discovery of my neurodivergence has been a blessing in disguise, for, together with other crises, it forced me to examine my life.

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

I know for a fact that some people won’t accept that neurodivergence is a blessing at all. These folks sometimes wish that they would be able to do away with their own neurodivergence, and be neurotypical, because it would make things easier. They are most likely correct. Some things would be easier. It is easier to live your life if you do not spend most of it strategizing to avoid shutdowns, meltdowns, and burnouts. This much is true.

Truth be told, sometimes, too, I have fleeting thoughts about how easier my own life would be if I weren’t neurodivergent. I wouldn’t have to wear noise-cancelling headphones, and look out of place, when I go to those events where they blast music. I wouldn’t have to deal with social anxiety, insomnia, reflux, shutdowns, etc. The list goes on and on.

However, I am quite certain that, without me being autistic, my own life wouldn’t be better, overall. It would, in fact, be a much poorer life. I bet the same is true for other people, though I cannot be absolutely certain of this. Perhaps the realization that neurodivergence is a blessing requires the perspective of age. I discovered my own neurodivergence at 50. Therefore, I never had to think about it as a young person.

At any rate, neurodivergence, for all its ills, provided me a great boon: it forced me to examine my own life. Socrates said it best:

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

According to Plato, these words were uttered by Socrates at his trial, when he chose death over exile. The authorities had accused him of corrupting Athens’ youth. Yep, the “for the children” moral panic goes at least as far back as the time of Socrates. There is also a flip side to this saying. It is this:

“The examined life is worth living.”

Perhaps a better wording for both sayings would be that the unexamined life is a wasted life, and thus, the examined life, is a fruitful, not wasted life. There is a danger here. It is to think that what I’m arguing for is that those who cannot examine their own lives should be treated with less respect than those who can. This is not what I am arguing. Treat everyone with respect, and try to create the conditions through which everyone who wishes to do so can examine their own lives.

Now, if there is one thing at which capitalism excels, it is at pushing the citizens who happen to live under its edicts to live an unexamined life. In order to be a good capitalist citizen, all other considerations have to be subjugated to the pursuit of capital.

This is perhaps the most evident for those people who have a hard time making ends meet. They must work long hours, and maybe multiple jobs, in order to survive. In this survival mode, there is precious little time to examine their own lives. When you come back from work dead tired, you do not have the inclination to spend time reflecting upon your own life. You go to bed, and the cycle restarts the next day.

This may be less evident, but this pursuit of capital also impedes the ability of the ruling class to examine their own lives. In the capitalistic mind, it is not possible to own enough. One has to continue working to amass more and more property ad nauseam. The rat race never ends, and the rat race leaves no time to examine one’s life.

There is one type of event that is likely to cause us to examine our life: a life crisis. These crises can take many forms. In my own life, I’ve gone through multiple crises: a heart attack at the age of 24, a cancer at the age of 48 (and the disability it entailed), a divorce at the age of 50, the discovery of my own neurodivergence at the age of 50, and there may be other crises that don’t look like crises to me right now but are crises nonetheless.

I expect that a crisis which is apt at causing us to examine our lives has to have certain characteristics. I haven’t cataloged those characteristics yet, but I still can venture some informed guesses. The crises that would prompt self-examination have to be forceful while at the same time not being crushing. My cancer almost killed me. If I had died, it wouldn’t have spurred any examination of my life. At the same time, it wasn’t a walk in the park.

Furthermore, these crises cannot be perpetual. The person who needs to work two jobs to make ends meet lives in a perpetual crisis, a crisis that leaves no time for reflection. True, the fact that I’m neurodivergent is perpetual, but it is the initial discovery that is the crisis. I’ve learned how to deal with my autism. I still continue to learn, but my learning is not as intense as it initially was.

You may be surprised to see in my list the discovery of one’s own neurodivergence as a crisis. I do think, no matter how it happens, that dealing with one’s own neurodivergence is a crisis, and one that especially lends itself to favoring living an examined life. From what I gather through talking with other neurodivergent folks, the discovery of our own neurodivergence causes us to examine very carefully, at the very least, which activities we can take on, and which we should avoid. I know I did this.

It is perhaps ironic that, in the case of neurodivergence, this self-examination is spurred by the very capitalist society in which we live. This is because its edicts are so often at odds with our own needs for self-care. What society considers to be acceptable behavior and acceptable demands is so often to us, neurodivergent people, unacceptable.

Now, I’m not saying that all neurodivergent people are experts at examining their own life. However, this examination is so crucial for providing for our own care, that most of us are forced to perform it. Thus it is that we avoid living the unexamined life, and that our lives become in fact fruitful.

Your own life is fruitful, when you examine it. May your own neurodivergence spur you to examine it. May we also work to push past capitalism so that all of us who wish to do so can engage in examining our own lives, for they become richer from it.


Posted

in

, ,

by

Comments

25 responses to “The Examined Life”

  1. Kevin Davy Avatar

    @yourautisticlife
    If there's one thing we are good at, it's navel-gazing. A lifetime of desperately analysing everything, up to and including the kitchen sink, to try and make something, anything, make sense, will do that.

    1. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

      @pathfinder @yourautisticlife
      .
      again, except me.
      Something about me and/or my early circumstances turned my analysis outward, I had some intuition or decision that I would take myself as given, as the standard and analyze everybody else instead.
      .
      My best guess is everyone else's reasoning impressed me less than my own, that I happened to be born among swine, I may have followed someone if I could have.

      1. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

        @pathfinder @yourautisticlife
        .
        I don't know if it's a superpower or simply that in the land of the unsighted, the one eyed man is king, but the only thing I have that comes close is I was born with a strong actuarial sense, with a sense of knowing that how people treat other makes the world what it is.
        .
        It made being here quite a shock, I honestly think that was the developmental delays, simply the shock of knowing just how broken the world was going to be, of having to get on with living in a world of mad violent error, in a world headed straight to Hell and pushing all objectors out of the way.
        .
        That's a bloody hard thing for a sensitive child.
        .
        So that's how I defined myself, and I define "normal people," as existing on the other side of this line, of having no sense of the trouble they make in the world – but then I hatched.
        .
        So now I have questions:
        .
        If "no actuarial sense," = Allistic per my theory – are the Autistics with me? Do we mostly have the actuarial sense? Do you sense that it's more than a personal matter, that abuse makes the whole world worse, sort of thing?
        .
        The only place I've ever seen the word, where I heard it, was in The Dawn of Everything, but like Autism, it was mostly just the word I didn't have, I had the idea, well part of the idea.
        .
        Thoughts?

        1. Kevin Davy Avatar

          @punishmenthurts @yourautisticlife
          Whilst a strong sense of social justice and awareness of consequences is perhaps more common amongst autistics, I wouldn't say that it's rare for humans. It's just that most people are more tied to societal place to feel that they can do much, except take care of their own. Also, in my experience, violence isn't often the first response of most people, or even one that most will even think about. Truly violent people are actually very rare.

          1. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

            @pathfinder @yourautisticlife
            .
            . . . yeah, I think we're having different conversations, sort of actuarial knowledge isn't justice or morality, it's more like science. I think justice is some weird Allistic concept and it generally means hurting someone and believing nothing new and bad will come of hurting them, justice generally also lacks the actuarial sense of simple causality.
            .
            Same for violence, different conversations. Everybody, "spanks," but no-one is "violent."
            .
            EDIT to continue:
            .
            so there really can't be a "sense of justice," by me, a sense of some weird Allistic gaslighting idea, at least not if you're not Allistic.
            .
            My idea is what we are calling that is really the actuarial sense, reality, causality (c/w evolution), but like me, no-one had the word. ❤️

          2. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

            @pathfinder @yourautisticlife
            .
            got to carry on, I hope you're not typing, Kevin.
            .
            @actuallyautistic
            .
            So, this is part of my ' #AutisticScience " idea, that we are not some new thing with a new "sense," for some new human concept of "justice," we are the trunk of the tree of human life, the original stock, built of reality, we don't have some new magic traits based in Allistic thinking, we have reality, based in reality – sure, reality totally, TOTALLY feels like justice, fuckin' rights it does, it is justice – but it is reality first, not some adorable Autistic "trait."
            .
            I am on Divergent fire here, I think. 😀

          3. Kevin Davy Avatar

            @punishmenthurts @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic
            Whilst you might be right. Unfortunately, there is no real way of knowing which way round it happened. At some point, the necessity of conditions probably enabled an evolutionary advantage to a set of characteristics that then became exaggerated and in a sense distinct.

          4. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

            @pathfinder @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic
            .
            if you look in the right places, there is more to suggest my version than theirs. You're right about the mechanism though, and warrior mode is unbeatable, it's taking over the world relentlessly by violent genetic drift. is my idea, warrior mode is too successful and has eaten the seed corn.
            .
            And anyway, literal truth is not required for origin stories – are theirs, "true?" The point is to have one that matches your neurology. ❤️

          5. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

            @pathfinder @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic
            .
            Did you see the ironic, bit, Kevin?
            .
            That oddly, if we consider that the Biblical creation story is about the advent of Allistics (and recall, Adam and Eve's kids found wives, they weren't the only "people") – then it turns out the Biblical creation date isn't bad, and the Allistic created world really is about six thousand years old.
            .
            I think that is cool AF. 😀

          6. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

            @pathfinder @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic
            .
            When your new theory is so unbelievably good that it not only reconciles all the existing science and history but even mythology 😜 😍

          7. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

            @pathfinder @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic
            .
            it's because of my lifelong train of thought, the irony is thick as Hell for me, because I have been struggling against NT psychology and the sort of NT social science in the Chalice actually for decades already and I have long been of the opinion that normal people have a place in their brain for a creation story – NOT for evolution.
            .
            I'm sorry to say, but they learn the word, but they think it's just another creation story and it does not give them the same actuarial sense as a living, breathing, actually functioning evolution would.
            .
            So coming full circle, and finding out the creationists are sort of right after all, at least regarding themselves, that's funny for me, funny because it's true, sort of thing. 😘

          8. BardMoss Avatar

            @punishmenthurts @pathfinder @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic
            The main problem with the Evangelical theory of the age of the world is that there are calendars in the world that date back farther than that. I was just reading about a Japanese company that still around that has been around for 6,500 years, I read another article which dated something back 35,000 years. Not talking carbon here, talking history.

          9. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

            @bardmoss @pathfinder @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic
            .
            Oh, for sure. I didn't mean the real world, I just mean today's human world of social constructions and whatnot, like not the creation of the world, but the beginning of the modern mind that created this human world.
            .
            It's Neurodiversity theory, but I like it better backwards from how the kids talk about it, I prefer Autistics and the Neurodivergent as the original human stock and human world, and that the "normals," are new (and a problem,) and I just wrote a book adjusting the Chalice and the Blade for that idea.

          10. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

            @bardmoss @pathfinder @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic
            .
            not the world or people generally, but it is close to the right date for that pack of warriors that wrote it to have come into existence, is what I'm trying to say, for that warrior neurotype.

          11. Moz Avatar

            @bardmoss @punishmenthurts @pathfinder @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic there are Australia Aboriginal groups who talk about the land that was inundated in the last major sea level rise. At least 15kya. That's recorded history.

            But the even jellicle cats can't explain the existence of the Egyptian pyramids, let alone the Mayan ones. Gunung Padang (16kya) is right out of the question. (it was built by /aliens/ autists, right? It's always autists).

          12. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

            @moz @bardmoss @pathfinder @yourautisticlife @actuallyautistic
            .
            fully human life goes back a few hundred thousand years, it's hard to say how far back biodegradable technology goes back, textiles and such. That's the Dawn of Everything, for me, where I got that, i guess.
            .
            While the old guard is losing the battle for the toxic limit they place on Turtle Island of what, twelve thousand years, there's plenty of older evidence, more all the time. I read one by a Paullette Steeves, the Indigenous Paleolithic of the Western Hemisphere about this just a few years ago.

    2. :neuro: Antonius Marie ⚧ Avatar

      @pathfinder @yourautisticlife

      one of the things that made me like having a talk therapist the most was when she complimented me for my analytical ways and called them "thoughtful" rather than "second-guessing"

  2. cybervegan Avatar

    @yourautisticlife Same on so many levels, but with obvious wrinkles in the details.

  3. Autistic Innovator :Aro: :ace: Avatar

    @yourautisticlife My experience of life if I were neurotypical would be so different. I’d still be aromantic and asexual, still be physically disabled, and possibly more extroverted. I’d be isolated because of the physical disability, there’d be no community to be a part of, I’d struggle to find a work from home job because I’d still be unable to commute, probably lonely too. My store also wouldn’t exist and I might not have even had a business. My quality of life would be very bad and lonely, and I’d struggle hard with the isolated life and probably be a touch starved person.

    My quality of life and experience of life is so much better because I am autistic and neurodivergent.

  4. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

    @yourautisticlife
    .
    you examine most pleasingly. ❤️

  5. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

    @yourautisticlife
    .
    You know what, my Autistic joys are sort of my only joys, like I suppose if I woke up Allistic I would know what Allistic joy is, but in this life I have not been able to enjoy the Allistic treats on offer, like I'm Autgender, asexual almost, not because I don't enjoy the feeling of sex but because I do not enjoy it . . . their way, in their context, like as a young man, I watched my friends, "getting some," "getting laid," and I didn't understand the joy of getting sex out of a girls who needed to be tricked or cajoled into it – I'm too literal, a girl says No, I hear "no." Then seduction is something like rape to this Fool, and what joy?
    .
    Whenever it was above board, clearly mutual or the lady jumped me, something happened, but still, not my way.
    .
    I have a nasty theory about the DEP, the way we are disliked and bad sex. 😈
    .
    I wanted to put a content warning here, but what? Sorry.

    1. Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama Avatar

      @yourautisticlife
      .
      #ActuallyAutistc
      @actuallyautistic
      .
      Ah! Bit of a penny dropping.
      .
      that's the thing, your Neurotype decides what you like, what brings joy – so nobody is ever going to wish away their Neurotype, it's what does the wishing!
      .
      This is a problem, maybe we should, who knows? The grass might be greener elsewhere, the nature of the beast is that no-one can intuit that.
      .
      Maybe some of us should, maybe some Neurotypes should be wishing themselves away, I mean . . .
      that's me plan. 😲
      .
      To convince the majority Neurotype to change itself and its desires, to rise above its own neurology and desires. It's too much to ask.
      .
      I mean, the world, but it's too much to ask, too much to hope for. I sort of hadn't quite realized that about Neurotype generally yet, I was only thinking about the majority, but we can't really do it, no-one can. Can't intuit it, I said. We can still think about it, and I suppose I still think somebody has to.

  6. Bernie Does It For Harris Avatar

    @yourautisticlife I really liked what you wrote, but since I'm #ActuallyAutistic I'm pretty much obligated to "well actually" it anyway. When I learned I was neurodivergent as a kid it wasn't really that big of a deal. It was kind of obvious that I wasn't like the other kids anyway. It certainly wasn't a crisis. Some of the things leading up to that arguably were, but I was too little to know any better so nothing really seemed out of the ordinary.

    1. Bernie Does It For Harris Avatar

      @yourautisticlife That said, my position as an outsider observing how humans live gave me plenty of opportunities for examining my own life and how it was different from theirs.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *